So this is really more like a personal diary entry which I guess used to be the purpose for blogs? They seem to have evolved into something much more than that but I feel I need to just speak my mind without a big catchy title or theme for this one.
This past year of 2018 I found myself working on a lot of new projects. I created an online songwriting course and a number of promotional teaching tools around that. I did a weekly songwriting tips series on YouTube for almost 2 months which was a ton of fun.
As soon as that series ended I took a short trip to Orlando to stay with family. During that trip, I was thinking a lot about 'what's next.' The question was intended as a what's next in all areas of life but, as is the case for me most of the time, the question tended towards work. So I was brainstorming about what I wanted to do next with my songwriting teaching material and came up with a whole new YouTube series that I was really excited about for a couple of weeks.
I returned to Iowa with new plans, wrote a long script for a new YouTube video and then... things changed.
Not all at once, they must have changed quietly in the background when I wasn't looking, but I suddenly found myself no longer interested in what I'd been working on for the past year. I know that could still shift and I could dive into creating songwriting content once again but right now that's definitely not the case.
I had a small revelation a couple of weeks ago which was "what if I just be for a while?" I've found some freedom in NOT asking myself every day "what's next?" "what are you doing with your life?" "where are you going?" Or more bluntly "Dude you're nearly 30, shouldn't you be further along?" I was in the habit of asking those questions so often and coming up with no concrete answers. I have a tendency to think of the future a lot of the time and sometimes that's helpful, but more often than not it can become quite restrictive and burdensome.
So for right now, my plan is to have no plan. I'm having fun performing, tightening up the last few tracks for the new album and generally just taking things as they come. I'm looking forward to spending some time with family over Christmas and welcoming the new year with open arms.
If any of this sounds like you (overthinking, generally judgmental thoughts about your place in the world) then I invite you to join me on this path of no path. Just for a little while. It's amazing how freeing it feels. We can be those weirdos that AREN'T posting the #hustle #workharder posts.
I wish you all a magnificent Holiday season - talk soon.